15 People Share the Idiotic Things Their Brain Has Done While on Autopilot

The brain is a magnificent organ, but sometimes it does the dumbest sh*t. 

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  • 01
    Text - [- Taqwacore 3776 points 5 hours ago I was maybe 18 years old at the time when I saw this dude get into a car that looked exactly like mine. There weren't many cars like mine and it was a weird colour, so when I saw this dude getting into the car and driving off, I thought he had stolen my car...so I got into a car chase and drove after him....[think about it]. After a couple of blocks and honking the horn, it dawned on me...I'm driving my car!
    via collegehumor
  • 02
    Motor vehicle - [-] Blugentoo2therevenge 3254 points 5 hours ago Taking my husband out for his birthday to his favorite place, auto pilot drove to work and parked. He didn't say anything because he thought it was hilarious.
    via collegehumor
  • 03
    Water - [- Whapwhaaap 10.0k points 5 hours ago I had a glass of water in my right hand, and my phone in my left. I walked into my bedroom and tossed my phone on to my bed. Except I didn't, I threw the glass of water instead. I was very very tired. Unfortunately my lack of sleep then became the reason I couldn't go to bed. I just sort of stood there and gawped at my own stupidity
    via collegehumor
  • 04
    Small appliance - [-]shaftautopump 8029 points 5 hours ago Filled the coffee maker, put in fresh coffee and water, left the jug sitting on top of the machine. Got an all staff email later "someone's flooded the kitchen with coffee, the machine is out of action until it dries." Off On
    via collegehumor
  • 05
    Text - tN 226 NTHONY MSTA U045 GREYHOUND/AMERICANOS USA DEP: 28Dec10 11:00a BOARDING # FROM: DALLAS TX 26 SCHED 9369 RO ADULT TO: LAREDO TX 11:00a 9369 4495 points 6 hours ago -] craig_machine I tried to scan the bus ticket at the front door of my house to get in TAX TX $78.00 TOTAL: AMERICAN EXPRESS 55803801 10:40a 06859 TKT ORIG:DALLAS KT DEST TARIFE: AM/AM MILES: COUPON 435 TXCP 02 55027788 9 001 01 29 0003900
    via collegehumor
  • 06
    Text - DQ [- browncoat63 3403 points 6 hours ago Once met some friends at a restaurant a few blocks from my house. I drove and parked on the street right in front of the place. After we ate, we walked over to Dairy Queen, walking right past my car in the process. I then proceeded to walk home from Dairy Queen. Got home and thought it was strange that my car wasn't in the driveway...
    via collegehumor
  • 07
    Cartoon - -] rabiun 8404 points 6 hours ago close reddit open new tab click on reddit And I do this shit daily.
    via collegehumor
  • 08
    Text - 5655 points 5 hours ago [-] Oddganic Wondering what time it is. Open my phone, check snapchat and Facebook. Put away the phone, without checking the time. I can do this 3-4times before I get the time
    via collegehumor
  • 09
    Egg yolk - - BoriousGlastard 3090 points 7 hours ago 309 Making breakfast last week, I cracked an egg straight into the bin.
    via collegehumor
  • 10
    Toilet - [-] peekaysays 13.2k points 5 hours ago Getting undressed for a shower, needed to pee, threw my clothes into the toilet
    via collegehumor
  • 11
    Text - [-] xilog 6623 points 6 hours ago It was winter, and having arrived home from a heavy day at work at about 6pm I went straight to bed for a nap. Woke up about an hour later, saw 7:20 on the clock, panicked thinking I was going to be late for work, hurriedly got dressed and drove to work. Was confused why it was all locked up when I got there, then looked at my watch which told me it was pm, not am. Drove home in shame. 11 10 4 5
    via collegehumor
  • 12
    Product - -]sheahobbit 10.8k points 6 hours ago Lost track of my 18 month old sister for 2 solid minutes in a pet store. In a total panic, I realized I was carrying her
    via collegehumor
  • 13
    Food - [- lefschetz 5269 points 6 hours ago Heated my frozen dinner in the microwave. Pulled off the plastic from the dinner, turned around, and threw the dinner in the garbage. Needless to say, my meal was something else. Plastic cover didn't seem appealing...
    via collegehumor
  • 14
    Food - - ThEgPl 3011 points 6 hours ago I cooked pasta with tomato sauce. Then my apartment owner called that somehow a rent didnt go through and i had to pay it afterwards. Usually after im finished cooking i wash the pots directly with dish detergent. This time i put the pasta on a plate but put the dish detergent on the pasta and put the sauce on the sponge and started to wash the noodle pot with my pasta sauce.
    via collegehumor
  • 15
    Dish - 2757 points 8 hours ago -] BravoBeTheName I defrosted a steak instead of a slice of bread for breakfast. I had a great breakfast.
    via collegehumor

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